For me, I usually tolerate either male or female pronouns online (unless it's deliberately done to attack me), and prefer female.
Offline, it's a different matter; for various reasons (nearly all of them relating to money), I don't have the ability to be obviously "presenting" as female.
I get "mistaken" for female surprisingly often, but since I haven't started any physical/medical transition (growing my hair out long doesn't count) and since I look like a long-haired dude in guys' clothes with a purse, it seems confusingly complex to insist on "she" among people who don't know much about my gender identity.
When friends who are trans-aware ask, I generally tell them that while I prefer female, I don't think it's likely to happen and I think it's likely to confuse other people.
I am not sure that I want to "come out" to other people by one of my well-meaning friends using a female pronoun in front of a third party, before I am ready to make that step myself.
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Offline, it's a different matter; for various reasons (nearly all of them relating to money), I don't have the ability to be obviously "presenting" as female.
I get "mistaken" for female surprisingly often, but since I haven't started any physical/medical transition (growing my hair out long doesn't count) and since I look like a long-haired dude in guys' clothes with a purse, it seems confusingly complex to insist on "she" among people who don't know much about my gender identity.
When friends who are trans-aware ask, I generally tell them that while I prefer female, I don't think it's likely to happen and I think it's likely to confuse other people.
I am not sure that I want to "come out" to other people by one of my well-meaning friends using a female pronoun in front of a third party, before I am ready to make that step myself.