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My quivering mass of anxiety, let me show it to you
Tomorrow's my intake interview at Seattle Counseling Service. I am, not to put too fine a point on it, hellaciously depressed about my life situation as I gather up old medical records and other important stuff they'll want to properly evaluate my oddball condition. So much failure. So much dumb weird stuff. I am so ready for help, and so unsure even of what kind of help I need on a lot of fronts. I'm filled with anticipation - all that earlier happy reaction does still apply - but also with this other stuff.
By this time tomorrow, of course, the interview will be behind me.
RPG Net banned Curt again. This isn't especially a surprise to anyone, but it's still discouraging, and it reinforces the very intense wariness I'm feeling at the moment about talking about a lot of LGBT stuff anywhere I'm not sure there's a framework of assumed respect in place. Heck, even when there is it can get pretty weird and ugly. Intellectually I am not inclined toward any general separatist impulse, not least because I've been blessed with so many cis and/or straight friends. Emotionally, however, there are times when I'd like to just crawl in the hole and make the rest of the world go away.
That wouldn't bother me so much if I weren't pre-twitchy from the latest Obama administration fiasco. The reminder of how much my life and health are matters for others' whim is uncomfortable just as I'm embarking on such a long hard course of action. Being me, I'm tempted to channel a lot of my feeling into quotation, which I do sometimes as a defensive denial kind of thing as well as for pleasure. The heck with it, I'm gonna quote via Youtube because I can.
I will be better tomorrow.
By this time tomorrow, of course, the interview will be behind me.
RPG Net banned Curt again. This isn't especially a surprise to anyone, but it's still discouraging, and it reinforces the very intense wariness I'm feeling at the moment about talking about a lot of LGBT stuff anywhere I'm not sure there's a framework of assumed respect in place. Heck, even when there is it can get pretty weird and ugly. Intellectually I am not inclined toward any general separatist impulse, not least because I've been blessed with so many cis and/or straight friends. Emotionally, however, there are times when I'd like to just crawl in the hole and make the rest of the world go away.
That wouldn't bother me so much if I weren't pre-twitchy from the latest Obama administration fiasco. The reminder of how much my life and health are matters for others' whim is uncomfortable just as I'm embarking on such a long hard course of action. Being me, I'm tempted to channel a lot of my feeling into quotation, which I do sometimes as a defensive denial kind of thing as well as for pleasure. The heck with it, I'm gonna quote via Youtube because I can.
I will be better tomorrow.