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So what have I learned about myself, with a week of glucose level testing and carbohydrate counting? That I kinda suck, but in addressable ways.

The basic goal in diabetic eating is to keep the grams of carbohydrates per meal low: 45-60g in general, 30-45g if you're looking to lose weight. Likewise, snacks should have no more than 15g or so of carbs, and less is better.

The problem for me is that Weight Watchers doesn't track carbs, so I've been looking at things that are genuinely good in other ways—overall calories, fat, and fiber—but sometimes very bad in carbs. So I ended up with daily totals well over 200g, dragged down to 175g or so with a few initial substitutions. I've got to make some more, swapping out high-carb products (in particular, crackers and bread) for lower-carb ones.

Emotionally, this is terribly draining. I have moments of deep discouragement, particularly at the thought of harm done to myself unintentionally and ignorantly. Sometimes the challenges seem manageable. Sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and forget it all.  I've been here before, which is both a blessing and a curse. I've been here before, and I'm weary of it, but on the other hand, I'd sure rather know what needs to be fixed and start fixing than die of some stupid thing.
 
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Ceri B.

April 2010

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