"Pronoun trouble." - Daffy Duck

[ceri]

This is a question for y'all with transition experience, particularly those of you are late boomers like me. At what point did you start feeling comfortable having others calling you with the name and pronouns you wanted to transition into?

It's one thing for me right now to use this name and female pronouns when I'm posting here.  But I've had several of the friends I've come out to recently ask me how I'd like to have them address me in personal exchanges, and to be honest, I just don't know. There's a void in my head right now when it comes to what I actually want and feel is appropriate, right now, as opposed to years down the road.

I'm not looking for anyone to tell me what to do, exactly. (I'll accept advice, of course.) But I'm really mostly interested in others' experiences.

Comments

[ceri]

Your last sentence is as the bat of enlightenment descending upon me. Thanks.

[elf]

Much welcome; I'd originally had a longer comment & decided it was too distracting and full of cisgender ponderings.

I keep wanting to think, "what's the big deal?" except that obviously, it *is* a big deal (or it can be), and equally obviously, there are huge violent swarms of people who are deeply threatened at the idea that gender identity is either a choice, or different from what they think it should be. (I wonder if I could make a case that many of them are closet transfolks, who are terrified that their own gender identity might not be as solid as they'd like to believe?)

For me, it comes down to: Follow your bliss.
If your bliss, or your potential bliss, makes other people uncomfortable... umm... it's their job to sort out their own bliss. And while some potential blisses are problematic and infringe on others' rights, there's no inherent right to believe that people are any particular gender.

[ceri]

"it's their job to sort out their own bliss." Elf, you are writing exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you, a lot. There's something about your phrasing that is giving all the other good advice I've been getting just the right shove.