Weight Watchers, week 21

 Back on track! 309.6 this morning. It looks like my second plateau stretch has come to an end. I attribute it to a combination of seasonal change (the transition from warm to cool or vice versa generally hits me a bit extra; now that it's reliably cool I'm in better shape), plus some stress relief on various fronts, plus thorough catch-up cleaning getting allergy triggers out of Chez Me. 

My next target is down 10% from my starting weight. That's 12 pounds and change from here, and I'd really like to hit it by the end of the year. We'll see whether I can. :)

An insight into things that make me sad and angry

I've noticed that when I set myself a timetable to do anything, even something I like doing, on a regular schedule, I end up resenting the constriction even though I freely chose it and like the activity itself.

I think that part of it is how tightly associated that sort of "do X every day" schedule is, in my life so far, with medical stuff. Take my prescriptions, measure my glucose levels, clean the air filters, and so on. So part of my mind thinks "that's medical and I'm tired of it" given the fact of the scheduling.

But part of it is that I'm still in the midst of this general disengagement from external obligations that aren't in my primary interests. I've been reading some about memory and consciousness, among other topics that support the historical research for Project N,  and I find research support for an intuition of mine. I've long felt that I remember most clearly when I'm in physical or mental conditions similar to the ones in which events I'm trying to recall took place. And, it seems, memories can bring with them evocations of those interior states, more strongly for some people than others. I hazard the guess that I'm at the high end of susceptibility to this and that I have more and varied traumas to recall than many folks.

So it makes sense: this urge I have to drop out of things I've done in the past is in part a very sensible response to the realities of memory on a physical, electro-chemical level. I need to remember this, and think about how to set it up so that the next time I want to do a regular-reporting or regular-posting kind of thing it doesn't hit on the same recollections.

Walking wow

Says my pedometer:

16,9340 steps
10,1510 aerobic steps (in stretches of 15 minutes or more continuous walking), 91 minutes aerobic walking time
998 calories burned, not counting in elevation
6.41 miles total

And on my evening walk, I walked up to the top of Phinney Ridge and past the entrance to the zoo for the first time in five years.

I am getting better, by golly.